It has come to my attention recently that we are a funny people. Specifically when my middle son came home after a month in his new life and announced that we are all a good time. He may have meant that we are nuts or that we put on a good show. This is not the place to quibble about such matters. I have often been made the center of attention and had command performances. As a four year old, I was propped up on the corner of the secretary's desk and asked for my life story at my father's work Christmas party. I was not daunted by this, but instead began, " My mother is a fruitcake and you know my dad," all to a roar of laughter. My material has changed, but my timing hasn't. I can be called upon for a story on a moment's notice. I learned early on that it was better to laugh than to cry, as if these were the only acceptable responses to what happens in life. Recently, I have been working on meditating and using radical acceptance ( cue eye roll and heavy sigh). Meditation is great. It does help even in the most unlikely situations. I can feel better just knowing that I have done less harm than I might have by reacting without mindfulness. Radical acceptance, however, is bullshit. Anyone who has lived through things that must be radically accepted knows how much we have already accepted, radically or otherwise. There is a distinct need to stop accepting poor treatment, bad behavior, violence and harm. The idea that I am responsible for the behavior of others was literally beaten into me by my father, reinforced by my grandparents, and practiced by my siblings. I reject that out of hand. I am responsible for my behavior and how the behavior of others affects me. I am in control of whether folks can harm me. I alone give permission for that bad behavior, violence and harm. If you no longer have much connection to me, it is because I have deemed that your presence is no present.
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AuthorI make stuff. Sometimes the stuff is pretty, sometimes not. My wife, 2 dogs, 3 kids and 3 cats keep me busy and on my toes. Archives
January 2022
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