Chapter 1- this is why we can’t have nice things
Cats claw furniture, dogs eat the floor, and. Filth I love leather, denim and cork floors. All of these things are not proof against kids, giant dogs, or cats. Really, cats get into everything, knock down everything that isn’t screwed or glued. They claw without preference to all things that you love, in spite of the existence of 5.4 million cat scratch toys, boards, burlap wrapped boards, and the specifically designed cat furniture. We have employed the spray bottle, rocks in cans, dogs, and even a scat mat (electric shocks that were employed more in the entertainment of the one with braces than in the discouraging of intrepid felines). Still, cats seem to be drawn to table tops, framed photos or pictures, knick-knack shelves, bookshelves, leather furniture, fabric furniture, and windows. Yes, that’s right, we have cats that scale windows. Next up, dogs. We love our dogs. We walk them, play with them, talk to them, pet them, and give them treats. Hell, we even named our house after a dog that we planned to get before we had the house or the dog. We rescued both of the enormous lunk-heads. We saved them from a life without yards or long walks, or worse…duh, duh, duh. How do they thank us? They eat our furniture (yes, wooden kid proof furniture- you know, the stuff that is made of two by fours and industrial strength fabric), they chase the cats, bark to keep us safe at three AM, scratch the floors, make it inadvisable to leave anything you might want to eat uncovered, pull on us when we take them on walks, and pull us over when there is something that catches their squirrelly attention (leaves, deer, cats, other dogs, the mailman). They are well trained, pleasant, approachable, sweet tempered creatures, but by their very nature, dirty and destructive. Munchy ate a hole in our cork floor and then threw up the bits. Fang’s affinity for creating dirt angels makes keeping anything dust free impossible. We vacuum, dust, and wipe down surfaces regularly, but within moments there is more fur, dust, or a combination on every square inch of the areas they inhabit.
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AuthorI make stuff. Sometimes the stuff is pretty, sometimes not. My wife, 2 dogs, 3 kids and 3 cats keep me busy and on my toes. Archives
January 2022
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